I watched the last episode of Hoarders, season 1 tonight.
This show makes me cringe, but I still watch.
For one thing, it’s shocking. And, I don’t get them. The hoarders. They want to hold onto everything they own, and can’t seem to get rid of anything. When people come to help them get rid of stuff, they have to go through everything slowly and then they realize they want to hang on to most everything they have, even though they don’t have room for more and more stuff. They will keep on collecting it too. They usually love shopping. And they have anxiety about letting stuff go.
I would never have the patience to work with these people like the helpers I see on the show. I mean, if they could actually pick out what is most important to them and get on to throwing out the rest, then I could. But as I said above, these people have to slowly go through everything and can’t let go of all kinds of (in my opinion – and probably a lot of people’s) worthless stuff. If I was there I’d want to take a shovel to it all and not waste any time or energy.
Am I a neat freak? Not even close. My place looks cluttered most of the time. But I don’t like buying or accumulating stuff I don’t need. Something might look cute/fun/neat/handy/etc at the store but that doesn’t mean I have to take it home. So, the place gets cluttered with stuff like mail, receipts, library books, video games, paperwork I haven’t put away, etc. I’m probably normal, but then when I go see other people’s homes, it looks like they are cleaner/neater than I am.
So anyway, I balk, feel impatient with these types of people, feel grateful I’m not directly involved with someone like that (these hoarders definitely have family members who have to deal with the fact that they can’t really go visit their loved one because it’s packed with junk and disgusting)
Here is a picture of what some people live like – and I have to admit I didn’t realize people actually lived like this till seeing it on TV – http://media.photobucket.com/image/hoarder/tuckermacomber/4395%20Hoarder%20trash/09MAR30-TemmerRec8766-26pics013.jpg?o=36 I’m giving a link because the picture is too nasty to put in my blog.
So anyway, they alienate their family, they cause eyesores and a lot of work for the people stuck finally cleaning it up, it causes suffering for all, the hoarder, the family, any animals involved, but still I wonder, can I judge them?
I don’t want to be like them. I’m not like them. But –
If I were to be painfully honest, I would have to say I personally lack a lot of discipline and energy. Not as bad as these people on TV, of course. But still, I’m a terrible procrastinator, and I like my free time WAAY too much. I decided I am very addicted to my free time. I tend to put stuff off (procrastinate) so I have more free time to do whatever I want. Then I waste lots of time doing whatever I want. Sometimes, I think I need that down time, but I probably don’t need it as much as I’m getting it now that I’m not working.
I’ve thought about how to solve this problem, but then I get to where I don’t care anymore and I go back to the same old habits. Same old lack of discipline. I’m starting to wonder if I ate more natural foods and less garbage food, and forced myself to walk everyday, would I have more energy? I’m already balking inwardly at the thought of giving up some of my free time to walk, and then the idea if I DID have energy suddenly – would I even be able to use it wisely? What is wisely???
So I started watching a show about hoarders and then started thinking philosophically about my life once again. I’d like to stop being a lump on a log and contribute to the world, but I still haven’t figured out how.
I really wish I had the discipline to write creatively more often. Sometimes when I want to, nothing comes out. Or a get a good idea, but have trouble sticking to it. Would love to be an author, with the combo of giving something to the world, but also having my time be my own.