TRAIN MY BRAIN!

That is my motto and motivation today, to train my brain! To have better habits! I just tried to meditate just now and my mind was going a mile a minute, which is unusual for me. Too many things on my mind today, so going to write some of it out.

A lot of it is work related, and my job is very stressful, and my need to relax and unwind at home has become my excuse to procrastinate on other things – like getting the dishes done, doing other important things. I think I do need to allow myself some me time but I want to change how I do it.

Also I was really tempted to have a stiff drink – Hard Mikes – haha – after work to numb myself from the emotional stress and strain from the day, and I’m not an alcoholic, never have been one, but I still felt the need to direct my desire for peace of mind in another direction, and I’m glad I stuck with it. I’m going to try do mantras, meditation, and more quiet time and less addicting internet time (Youtube I need to stay away from you right now!)

I’m not the cleanest person, but I’m not the messiest either. If you walk into my apartment you won’t think you’re in an episode of Hoarders! But for years my excuse to procrastinate on cleaning at home was that I cleaned other people’s homes all day long for a living, and at home, I needed a break from it, which was true. But I don’t do that for a living anymore and now my excuse is my job is hard, I must rest. Which is true, but really, I can handle some cleaning unless I’m extremely drained from my day. I need to make myself do it more often so I can realize it’s not so bad. Also need to try not reacting to how awful my mind is making that chore look (I have this same problem with shaving my legs and no I don’t  leave them hairy)

I’m addicted to fun and entertainment, and I have LOTS of entertaining things to do. LOTS. So I feel the need to put things into perspective, allow myself some wind down time but also some responsible adult time. I hope I’m not just saying this and will go back to my regularly slacking off!

I’m glad to say I actually achieved of the few things I wanted to achieve tonight, not all of them but some, and the night is short! Wish it was longer. I will go back to those dishes now and get ready for bed.

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