Category Archives: Daily Grind

Books and Big Fish Games

I suddenly have goals with Big Fish games. Yes, a fun goal 🙂

The thing is I have bought LOTS of Big Fish games that I haven’t finished, so I made a spreadsheet of the games I own and marked if I finished them or not, and decided I MUST finish 10 of them before I can be allowed to buy another game. Then after that, 6 more. I have a column of games I do want to buy in the future to remind me of what I’m looking forward to.

Several of the Big Fish Games I got bored with, but I am still making myself finish them before buying more!

Then, books. I recently bought myself several books. Even though I already have plenty to read. Which means I need to read more, and I have been doing so. But I have a rant about a recent purchase. I decided to buy “American Elsewhere” used from amazon, because I thought it was going to be in almost new condition, but it has a HUGE split halfway through the book, so when I read it, it is lopsided on one side….I don’t like it. I wish I’d bought it new, or just continued to read it from the library. It’s a really good book and a thick book. I’ve even considered buying it NEW and giving away this copy, but new it is at least $17 or more depending on where I get it.

Plus I talked myself out of buying this book that was almost $16 new yesterday at the store, I finally went to the Auntie’s Bookstore in downtown Spokane yesterday. But I liked the cover so I might be drawn to it later. I also recently bought some new books from amazon that are on their way. I am thinking of making a spreadsheet of books I need to finish and then write the books I want to get once I read a certain number of my books. I am thinking of setting a goal of 5 books and then I can buy another. But I don’t know if I would stick to this!! As in I would go to the bookstore and see more than one book I want to buy. Or when ordering on amazon, I always order at least $35 of stuff so I can get the free shipping.

But I think I will at least try it. I am also making myself buy less groceries and use the stuff I’ve already stocked up on, and also I’ve stopped buying bottled iced tea all together, bought a whole bunch of Lipton bags and also Oolong bags, and bought this peach syrup  through amazon – at first I thought I didn’t like it, but I am learning to like it. It’s just the Torani syrup which I have added to my amazon subscribe and save. Safeway used to make my favorite iced tea – Oolong Peach, and then they changed the recipe and I don’t like it anymore and it’s not worth $1 or so a bottle so I am making homemade iced tea and I know it’s a lot cheaper.

Plus I’ve stocked up on other stuff I got on amazon like this cheap wheat farina by Bob’s Red Mill. Waaay cheaper than Cream of Wheat. Then I tried it and it’s a bit TOO creamy for me. Needs more texture. So I bought a box of Cream of Wheat – at Fred Meyer – Safeway wanted $4 something a box! and I use a very tiny amount of the Cream of wheat with the Bob’s stuff and it has enough texture now.  And all that I’ve got now will probably last me through the winter.

I’ve been buying more grocery stuff on amazon through subscribe and save or just buying it on amazon because I no longer have a car and they deliver it to me. I definitely still have to walk to the store every week to get groceries.

Not Enough time in the day

Would love to be retired and have all the time in the world because there is so much I want to do and not enough time to do it!

Plus my job is crazy as usual – today wasn’t too bad, I got a high compliment from a customer today so that was nice. Then there was a ‘change’ for the better – something we’re allowed to do again (for months we were no longer allowed, now that we are allowed again, life there will be just slightly easier).

At work I did bring up with some co-workers that agree, there are a few perks to our job, and I have to admit they are a huge reason I have trouble getting motivated to look for other work even though the current one drives me nuts. Perks are – we have a steady schedule. We know when we are going to be at work and we know when we are going to be done (there is the risk of being stuck late, usually no more than a half hour), we always get our days off. We don’t have to worry (I better not jinx things here) about being called into work on our day off or after we’ve gone home. (I’ve seen it happen to supervisors though). They never ask me to show up on Saturday, well actually they will ask everyone through email very occasionally, and usually other people volunteer because they want overtime. I volunteered once because it was for a project that was not our usual work. But they don’t make you show up on your day off. Also we almost always get holidays off such as Labor day, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Memorial Day, Christmas (without pay) but I like it that I don’t have to worry about being stuck working on a holiday.

Oh I wanted to write more but it’s getting late. Maybe tomorrow. Briefly – today I did some cleaning, I watched Warehouse 13 with my son, I was hoping he’d like it too but he’s not too interested he said it’s too ‘cop show’. I will continue to watch. I like the premise – a secret warehouse of supernatural objects and secret agents need to collect them. Reminds me of Friday the 13th the Series (which had nothing to do with the movies)

Pretty Little Liars season finale was on last night. That show is getting dark. Also, I just read the first book. It’s short. Will read more through the library. The book is pretty close to the show, with little differences. I hear they get quite different from the show though, which makes sense because if they just used the plot from the books, no one would be surprised and there would be no mystery if they already read the books.

I ordered the new download content pack for Mario Kart Wii U, I think it was an advanced purchase so won’t have everything yet, but I will have new racetracks to try, new characters to use, new cars.

So on Netflix, I want to watch/have been watching Pretty little liars, Warehouse 13, Hemlock Grove, The Fosters, maybe watch Orange is the New Black, been watching Arrow with my son, Persons Unknown, Life…

I need to get ready for bed.

Writing stuff down

Yesterday I discovered librarything.com and was adding a lot of my books to it. Plan to do some more today. Also decided I really need to finish reading a lot of my books that I’ve left hanging. Currently trying to finish the 2nd Frankenstein book since a friend loaned it to me, and a William Slater book that shouldn’t take to long to finish, The Last Universe.

I started playing Paper Mario for the Wii again on Friday.

I had this huge urge to go to Barnes and Noble, and if I had a car I would have just drove over there. Right now I’m thinking of going to Auntie’s bookstore because it’s downtown where the buses stop and wouldn’t take such a huge chunk of my day to go there, plus I could stop at the tea shop downtown too.

Not that I should be buying books I have tons of books to read. But I want to go look. I also decided to order some books I want to try from the library.

I really need to get some cleaning today, already vacuumed and started the dishes, need to get back to the dishes and also need to start laundry.

Started this amazon order just so I can get Oolong tea and then you have to add out stuff so you get free shipping….still working on it

The reason why I suddenly need Oolong tea is Safeway changed the recipe in my favorite iced tea – Oolong peach, and I’m really disappointed. It used to taste fresh brewed and now it tastes very different, probably it’s made from a concentrated powder now. It’s not worth spending my money on, that is for sure. And it used to be so good 😦

I watched a couple of episodes of Dominion last week and enjoyed them, but far as I know that’s all that was available on SyFy’s website, so I guess I have to wait awhile for Netflix. (hopefully). I want to try have to have time today to watch something on Netflix, maybe The Fosters or an episode of Pretty Little Liars.

Kinda tired today

Felt rather tired today even though I went to bed by 10pm or so last night. Not a not-enough-sleep tired but a not-much-energy tired.

Work actually wasn’t too bad. They gave me a very low stress project to work on for a few hours and then I had to go back to the same old grind. It was a nice break, I be doing it tomorrow too but probably for not as long.

I woke up this morning and felt accomplished for getting so many things done last night. It was a good feeling. Still staying off twitter and even stayed off Tumblr tonight, usually I go there after Pretty Little Liars and read the PLL Theories tag. And stay up late. I’m staying up later than I wanted to tonight, but after PLL was over I wanted to read more of “Falling.” It’s really good and I’m 70% finished so might finish it tonight.

Thinking about The Happiness Trap – I still need to write down my goals and values and start focusing on them, especially the values, the book points out it’s important to enjoy your values while striving for goals. I’ll explain more when less tired.

Today I walked over to the store after work and got a few things and got bangs cut on the way back, so they are no longer in my eyes.

Life!

I see I have a couple new followers, hello and welcome!

I just re-did my lists page, updated it so it’s more accurate. If you’re curious about me I listed things that I like. I will probably add more to it soon.

Today I want to write about work, and goals. I know I’ve written about my desire to have goals and stick to them, well, I still have a long way to go. But I did get some of my cleaning done this weekend and I did just now finish the dishes 🙂 On a Monday night!

Which reminds me, I tend to see these chores as huge mountains I have to climb, even if they aren’t that big of a deal. Like I have to pay these bills tonight, probably will take me 10 minutes or less, but oh gosh they are mountains in my mind and I don’t want to climb them. It’s not that I don’t have the money or I’m attached to the money or I’m not responsible enough to be paying my bills. Nothing like that.

I just don’t like boring chores. Okay, so I’m not special on that am I? But they become these mountains in my mind and I put them off. I still pay my bills on time but sometimes it’s at the very last minute. Oh and then shaving my legs are a mountain too. So are doing dishes, doing laundry, other types of cleaning.

So I want to try think about them differently. I’m going to work on it and if I’m successful I’ll post about it. Of course there are the obvious reasons – apartment will be cleaner, I’ll be more organized and responsible, etc.

Okay – work. Huge struggle. I would love to change it and I need to get motivated enough to actually use my free time to look for other jobs. But that’s probably one of my biggest mountains yet – applying for jobs is SO. NOT. FUN. And it doesn’t result in anything 99% of the time, or actually if you look at the jobs I’ve applied at this year, 100% no results, not even a job interview.

So I’ve been reading this book from the library and it’s really good. Probably one of the best self-help books I’ve read yet. It’s called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.

TheHappinessTrap

I just finished reading it on the bus and I highlighted (Kindle highlighting!) some important stuff. Here is the ACT Formula:

Accept your thoughts and feelings and be present.

Connect with your values.

Take effective action.”

Also this is an incredibly important point in the book: “No matter what sort of problematic situation you encounter in life, there are only two sensible courses of action:

      Accept it.
      Take effective action to improve it.”

Soooo. My incredibly difficult job that I will be vague about. It does have some pros – I have some great friends there at work that I look forward to seeing. I get a paycheck, and it’s a Monday-Friday job so I always have weekends off and also I’m almost always done at the same time of the day, and I have evenings off. Also (knock on wood) being called on your time off to suddenly show up to work is unheard of at this job. Which I like a lot. The bus goes real close to my work which is important to me because I no longer own a car, and the job is not in the same city as me.

Cons: Too many to list, plus I’m being vague. I will say I am really underpaid considering the kind of work I do. I face huge frustrations on a daily basis, and my co-workers and I have war stories to tell on a daily basis. Sometimes an hourly basis! That is just too much stress.

I have a lot of trouble accepting the procedures I have to deal with, I think they are terrible, I think they cause myself and many many others involved unending stress and frustration, and there are articles online that verify that the company I am speaking of has a very negative rating with the public. (Then the problem is: I read the articles, my feelings are validated, but then I have to face hard reality at work again, then I get depressed, again)

Anyway, I’ve reached some level of acceptance when I’m there. Sometimes. For a short time. Then one of my triggers happen (very very easy to happen) and I’m all riled up. I’m trying to work on getting less riled up but its hard because I know it’s not just me getting frustrated but the customers and I can’t stand how the customers are being treated. So my everyday life there is a roller coaster. If I manage to have a day that is less stressful than usual I consider myself lucky. Most days are ‘middle days’ that means some crazy stress but some peace as well. Some days you show up and when it rains, IT POURS as in the bad stuff happens all day long and there’s no escape till your 8 hours is left. This is a phenomenon that happens not just with me but with co-workers as well.

So I need to work on two things: Trying to accept MORE. Until I’m gone. And make little goals to find a new job. I have to start little and work myself into it because I know if I try to tackle it all at once I’ll see a big mountain and shy away from it and put it off.

Okay, change of topic: I recently lost my gold crown. Yes my beautiful gold crown that I’ve only had since March. I want to cry. Without that tooth I am having difficulty chewing. I need to get partial dentures very soon, I barely have any chewing teeth on the bottom. In fact there are only two. I still have my front teeth so if I open my mouth people still see teeth. And I still have most of my top teeth. But almost all my bottom chewing teeth are gone now 😦

I’m re-reading a Christopher Pike book, Falling, and I might write a brief commentary on it and his writing when I’m done. He’s one of my favorite authors. One thing I want to mention is a re-occurring theme in his books – romantic love that is to the point of being obsessive. Makes me wonder if there is someone he never got over.

Oh and I need to stay off Twitter. At least for a day or two. Got super addicting this weekend with all the Orlando Jones stuff – just go to twitter and if you don’t see an Orlando Jones account there I’d be surprised. I was following and retweeting Orlando Jones accounts like crazy, and they were following me.

Twitter has become like my bar…where I sit down to hang out with friends and chat! And stay up too late quite often. It’s just minus the alcohol.

Time to write some checks and put bills in the mail!

TRAIN MY BRAIN!

That is my motto and motivation today, to train my brain! To have better habits! I just tried to meditate just now and my mind was going a mile a minute, which is unusual for me. Too many things on my mind today, so going to write some of it out.

A lot of it is work related, and my job is very stressful, and my need to relax and unwind at home has become my excuse to procrastinate on other things – like getting the dishes done, doing other important things. I think I do need to allow myself some me time but I want to change how I do it.

Also I was really tempted to have a stiff drink – Hard Mikes – haha – after work to numb myself from the emotional stress and strain from the day, and I’m not an alcoholic, never have been one, but I still felt the need to direct my desire for peace of mind in another direction, and I’m glad I stuck with it. I’m going to try do mantras, meditation, and more quiet time and less addicting internet time (Youtube I need to stay away from you right now!)

I’m not the cleanest person, but I’m not the messiest either. If you walk into my apartment you won’t think you’re in an episode of Hoarders! But for years my excuse to procrastinate on cleaning at home was that I cleaned other people’s homes all day long for a living, and at home, I needed a break from it, which was true. But I don’t do that for a living anymore and now my excuse is my job is hard, I must rest. Which is true, but really, I can handle some cleaning unless I’m extremely drained from my day. I need to make myself do it more often so I can realize it’s not so bad. Also need to try not reacting to how awful my mind is making that chore look (I have this same problem with shaving my legs and no I don’t  leave them hairy)

I’m addicted to fun and entertainment, and I have LOTS of entertaining things to do. LOTS. So I feel the need to put things into perspective, allow myself some wind down time but also some responsible adult time. I hope I’m not just saying this and will go back to my regularly slacking off!

I’m glad to say I actually achieved of the few things I wanted to achieve tonight, not all of them but some, and the night is short! Wish it was longer. I will go back to those dishes now and get ready for bed.

Trying to taper down the indulgment

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Got my mind on Buddhism a lot today and yesterday. I have a couple of decisions to make soon, and listening to dharma talks on youtube helped me decide I don’t necessarily need the things I was trying to decide to keep or give up. It’s also helping me with being a little less attached with what I do with my free time, so that I can do more responsible things too – get chores done, cook, do things for other people, not be so self absorbed.

I am facing not having a car soon, for a very long time, and I want to be mentally ready for that.

I also want to use that as an opportunity to spend less money, and pay my credit card down. If I don’t have a car, I won’t be spending money on gas, insurance, oil changes, or repairs. That’s a lot of money saved. I also want to try and taper down on things I feel I need all the time, like my iced teas. I’m going to try use the instant sometimes to save money. Right now I’m drinking my favorite, Oolong Peach from Safeway.

I want to experience life in a different frame of mind. Less attachment, less aversion, more peace, more contentment, no matter what is going on.  I want more inspiration, because I want to work on creative projects more often. I want to be more efficient with my time.

Today I did my laundry, changed sheets on the bed, sorted and threw away a lot of papers, wrote up a recipe to share at work, played Yoshi’s Island, Animal Crossing, and  Runefactory on 3DS , read dharma & listened to dharma talks, baked chocolate chip cookies, went to the store and library, wrote up my monthly budget, wrote part of a fanfiction chapter, cooked Boca burger for dinner and cooked Macaroni Con Queso for lunches this week.

I was good

I decided to try working on my new fan vid a little each evening.  The reason I’ve avoided it on weekdays is because once I start I don’t want to stop. I managed to work on it just now and told myself a half hour, did it for 45 minutes, but still I’m proud of myself for quitting before an hour was up.

The program froze up on me and I had to restart some of what I did, that is my excuse for taking longer.

My son and I watched Walking Dead Episode 1 today, it’s pretty good.

I listened to my new music CD in the car, I got some really nice free music from amazon, I’m surprised. One of the new songs I’m using for my video.

Yesterday I watched some Hoarders, once again I am wondering why people that are so abusive to animals aren’t just arrested.

Today I was lucky and got off work at 4:30.

Build A Lot, a lot

This is one of the new songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately, I bought the MP3 on amazon. Make this Go On Forever by Snow Patrol.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time playing a free trial game – time management and food, like a Burger Shop but it was harder because you had to make the sandwiches in a certain order. I can’t even remember the name. Has Stand in it.

I was reading some of both American Gods and The Passage yesterday, and The Passage started getting to a point where I didn’t understand what was going on anymore, but I’m going to give it another try.

Also last night while looking through the free trial stuff I saw Build A Lot Metropolis and I got so excited, then to find out it is a FB game, so hell yeah I started that game. It gets repetitive but I still love it for being a Build A Lot game. It’s also much simpler than the actual games, but still has a lot of the same gameplay. You have to wait a long time for your energy to come back.

Last night I realized I could download games I already bought on amazon to my other computer, so I did that and started playing Build A Lot 4 again on that comp. I only wish I could hear the sound 😦  But still, I paid for the game and they let me download to more than one comp, that’s great 🙂

Today I did write some on my original story with the Monoliths, but only a couple paragraphs. Also started reading Star Rigger’s Way by Jeffrey A. Carver (sci-fi) and In Dubious Battle by John Steinbeck. Reading both to see different kinds of writing styles. I hope to get back to my Monoliths story after I screw around a bit on Build A Lot on the laptop, I want to hear the sounds of the game.

Tomorrow I’m going to do more responsible stuff, apply to jobs, pay bills, I forgot what else. I did do a load of laundry today and change the bed.

I should go for a walk today, it’s nice enough out for shorts and I know this won’t last much longer. Our summer was way too short! It didn’t even start really till middle or end of July. A month and a half is not enough!

Reading, lots of reading

I just finished Jack Kilborn’s Trapped this morning, and it is a really gruesome, sick and twisted book. But that’s why I wanted to read it, Jack Kilborn comes up with some crazy stuff, just like he did in Endurance. I still haven’t finished his book Afraid, but I keep getting to the point where I’m not sure where the plot is going. I didn’t have that trouble with Endurance or Trapped.

I’m also reading The Passage by Justin Cronin and it’s good so far and I want to read more today. It’s fat and I can only have it for two weeks. But I decided I better work on American Gods by Neil Gaiman first, it’s due in a few days. It’s weird but interesting.  I’ve been trying to read more. Also trying to write more.

I ordered four books from amazon on writing and once I get them I’m really hoping they will help me write a full length novel. I had been trying to write on one, then my writing went flat and I wasn’t sure where I was going, so I tried writing on another story, just for practice. I don’t think anyone but me would like this one unless I changed it. I’m hoping to write something even if just a paragraph, every day.

I have so many books piled up to read it’s not funny. And I’m trying to pay attention to how the authors put words together, to inspire me to write better.

Been getting into new music as well. I thought of this video I liked once, looked it up and found out the singer was Skin. I listened to more of her songs on YT and really like this one called Trashed a lot. But it wasn’t available for sale on amazon as an mp3 so I ordered the CD with the song in it. At least I know for sure there is one more song I will like, but geez $10 is a lot to pay for a couple of songs, hope I like more songs on the CD.

Also been listening to Snow Patrol. Someone on Tumblr mentioned a song by them called Make this Last Forever (I think) and I tried it on YT and it’s really good. So I bought it and this other song called Lifeboats that I like a lot. Then I looked and the library had more than one CD of their music so I checked out two of them and have been listening to them while I clean.

Speaking of Tumblr, I started a new book recommendation blog and so far have only received 3 submissions. Really hoping to get more book recs! Almost all the ones I post are my own. http://bookrecommendations.tumblr.com/ If you want to leave comment here for a book rec, just leave title and author and I’ll list you as anon if you don’t have a tumblr.