I see I have a couple new followers, hello and welcome!
I just re-did my lists page, updated it so it’s more accurate. If you’re curious about me I listed things that I like. I will probably add more to it soon.
Today I want to write about work, and goals. I know I’ve written about my desire to have goals and stick to them, well, I still have a long way to go. But I did get some of my cleaning done this weekend and I did just now finish the dishes 🙂 On a Monday night!
Which reminds me, I tend to see these chores as huge mountains I have to climb, even if they aren’t that big of a deal. Like I have to pay these bills tonight, probably will take me 10 minutes or less, but oh gosh they are mountains in my mind and I don’t want to climb them. It’s not that I don’t have the money or I’m attached to the money or I’m not responsible enough to be paying my bills. Nothing like that.
I just don’t like boring chores. Okay, so I’m not special on that am I? But they become these mountains in my mind and I put them off. I still pay my bills on time but sometimes it’s at the very last minute. Oh and then shaving my legs are a mountain too. So are doing dishes, doing laundry, other types of cleaning.
So I want to try think about them differently. I’m going to work on it and if I’m successful I’ll post about it. Of course there are the obvious reasons – apartment will be cleaner, I’ll be more organized and responsible, etc.
Okay – work. Huge struggle. I would love to change it and I need to get motivated enough to actually use my free time to look for other jobs. But that’s probably one of my biggest mountains yet – applying for jobs is SO. NOT. FUN. And it doesn’t result in anything 99% of the time, or actually if you look at the jobs I’ve applied at this year, 100% no results, not even a job interview.
So I’ve been reading this book from the library and it’s really good. Probably one of the best self-help books I’ve read yet. It’s called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.
I just finished reading it on the bus and I highlighted (Kindle highlighting!) some important stuff. Here is the ACT Formula:
“Accept your thoughts and feelings and be present.
“Connect with your values.
Take effective action.”
Also this is an incredibly important point in the book: “No matter what sort of problematic situation you encounter in life, there are only two sensible courses of action:
Take effective action to improve it.”
Soooo. My incredibly difficult job that I will be vague about. It does have some pros – I have some great friends there at work that I look forward to seeing. I get a paycheck, and it’s a Monday-Friday job so I always have weekends off and also I’m almost always done at the same time of the day, and I have evenings off. Also (knock on wood) being called on your time off to suddenly show up to work is unheard of at this job. Which I like a lot. The bus goes real close to my work which is important to me because I no longer own a car, and the job is not in the same city as me.
Cons: Too many to list, plus I’m being vague. I will say I am really underpaid considering the kind of work I do. I face huge frustrations on a daily basis, and my co-workers and I have war stories to tell on a daily basis. Sometimes an hourly basis! That is just too much stress.
I have a lot of trouble accepting the procedures I have to deal with, I think they are terrible, I think they cause myself and many many others involved unending stress and frustration, and there are articles online that verify that the company I am speaking of has a very negative rating with the public. (Then the problem is: I read the articles, my feelings are validated, but then I have to face hard reality at work again, then I get depressed, again)
Anyway, I’ve reached some level of acceptance when I’m there. Sometimes. For a short time. Then one of my triggers happen (very very easy to happen) and I’m all riled up. I’m trying to work on getting less riled up but its hard because I know it’s not just me getting frustrated but the customers and I can’t stand how the customers are being treated. So my everyday life there is a roller coaster. If I manage to have a day that is less stressful than usual I consider myself lucky. Most days are ‘middle days’ that means some crazy stress but some peace as well. Some days you show up and when it rains, IT POURS as in the bad stuff happens all day long and there’s no escape till your 8 hours is left. This is a phenomenon that happens not just with me but with co-workers as well.
So I need to work on two things: Trying to accept MORE. Until I’m gone. And make little goals to find a new job. I have to start little and work myself into it because I know if I try to tackle it all at once I’ll see a big mountain and shy away from it and put it off.
Okay, change of topic: I recently lost my gold crown. Yes my beautiful gold crown that I’ve only had since March. I want to cry. Without that tooth I am having difficulty chewing. I need to get partial dentures very soon, I barely have any chewing teeth on the bottom. In fact there are only two. I still have my front teeth so if I open my mouth people still see teeth. And I still have most of my top teeth. But almost all my bottom chewing teeth are gone now 😦
I’m re-reading a Christopher Pike book, Falling, and I might write a brief commentary on it and his writing when I’m done. He’s one of my favorite authors. One thing I want to mention is a re-occurring theme in his books – romantic love that is to the point of being obsessive. Makes me wonder if there is someone he never got over.
Oh and I need to stay off Twitter. At least for a day or two. Got super addicting this weekend with all the Orlando Jones stuff – just go to twitter and if you don’t see an Orlando Jones account there I’d be surprised. I was following and retweeting Orlando Jones accounts like crazy, and they were following me.
Twitter has become like my bar…where I sit down to hang out with friends and chat! And stay up too late quite often. It’s just minus the alcohol.
Time to write some checks and put bills in the mail!