Category Archives: Uncategorized


I have the worst case of comparisonitus. Here is a run down of my day:

I talk to a friend today that I admire, and he is going on a trip. With a married couple that are his good friends.

Me: I do not have any good friends I can go on a trip with. I do have some friends, but do I have good friends I can go on a trip with? Do I have good friends that would be willing  to go on a trip with me? I don’t know.

I’m not too concerned about the fact that I don’t have the money to go on a trip to Mexico. And lay on a tropical beach. Sounds nice but it’s not a priority.

I’m all concerned about the fact that I’m not as bonded with people as everyone else seems to be. People do not usually go out of their way to see me, but I go out of my way to see them.

I am thinking I am going to try go through life on autopilot and detach from my emotions


Update April 2016

I haven’t written in here for a long time. I recently lost my temporary job, it was a great place to work, I am okay with the fact that the job is over. I actually just applied today for a position at the place I was working at.

I need good dental insurance because I found out dental implants are $4000 per tooth which is ridiculously expensive! The place I worked at would provide good insurance if I was a permanent hire.

What am I watching on Netflix lately? Several things. In no particular order, Orphan Black, American Horror Story, Jessica Jones, Hemlock Grove, The Walking Dead, crap I just watched something yesterday, what was it? Oh yeah, Haven, Sense 8, Bates Motel, and thinking of getting back to Revenge.

Still having severe mood swings but will be starting counseling in a few weeks.


Can You Be A Buddhist Christian?

I really like this, this is helplful. I wish I could embrace the Christian religion, I like certain aspects of it, but my heart and my beliefs are much more Buddhist

Applied Buddhism

I visited my my family this weekend for a picnic. They live in Chicago. I live almost eight hours away and other family members live even farther. It is rare to get us all together and so I felt compelled to show.  I had to deal with many questions of my Buddhist faith. Most of my family is heavily invested into their Christianity and to them, the concepts of any other faith are considered false.

So how do you speak with a Christian that is trying to understand that Buddhism a wholesome practice for everyone?


The first issue that must be addressed, I realized, is that when we say Christian or Buddhist there is an assumption that all Buddhists and Christians practice their faiths homogenously.

Of course, this is not true.  Ask a Catholic about their faith and it becomes clear that…

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You Don’t Need To Be In A Relationship To Live Romantically

Thought Catalog

Once in a while I find myself sitting across from a couple, and I can’t help but think they are space aliens.

They’re cute together, and if we’re having dinner, they might do something painfully sweet, like ordering for each other and knowing exactly what to get. In between bites (fed to each other), they talk about their new apartment and the various perks of nesting. “We just got into candle making!” And every so often, they lock eyes, and that familiarity and comfort that emanates from them makes it incredibly easy to picture them 20, 40 years from now, still sitting on the same side of the table, ever steadfastly on the same wavelength.

Aliens! You two certainly aren’t from my planet, that’s for sure. Tell me, when does the mothership land?

I’ve never been in a committed relationship. I’ve been in love once, with someone who loved me back just…

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JIB5: Destiel, the PR nightmare and the potential queerbaiting

This article is amazing. Discussing what happened with JIB, and what Destiel really means for people. I love it.

The Daily Fandom

destiel - the daily fandom

Destiel shippers’ hopes were in an all time high after Stairway to Heaven and Do You Believe in Miracles aired. Metatron’s acknowledgment of Castiel being in love with humanity or everything being about saving just one human seemed to leave things pretty clear. Some fans even called the ship demicanon or canon on Castiel’s side. Destiel shippers couldn’t be more excited for Season 10 and, after a season of a lot of suffering, all was well.

But it didn’t last long as all those hopes were quickly crushed after this weekend’s convention. Jus in Bello has celebrated its 5th edition with the participation of Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins among other members of the cast, as usual. Things started going downside for shippers yesterday during Jensen’s solo panel:

“There wasn’t a whole lot of Dean and Cas storyline in Season 9. Personally I kind of enjoy that. I think the whole…

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Trying to taper down the indulgment


Got my mind on Buddhism a lot today and yesterday. I have a couple of decisions to make soon, and listening to dharma talks on youtube helped me decide I don’t necessarily need the things I was trying to decide to keep or give up. It’s also helping me with being a little less attached with what I do with my free time, so that I can do more responsible things too – get chores done, cook, do things for other people, not be so self absorbed.

I am facing not having a car soon, for a very long time, and I want to be mentally ready for that.

I also want to use that as an opportunity to spend less money, and pay my credit card down. If I don’t have a car, I won’t be spending money on gas, insurance, oil changes, or repairs. That’s a lot of money saved. I also want to try and taper down on things I feel I need all the time, like my iced teas. I’m going to try use the instant sometimes to save money. Right now I’m drinking my favorite, Oolong Peach from Safeway.

I want to experience life in a different frame of mind. Less attachment, less aversion, more peace, more contentment, no matter what is going on.  I want more inspiration, because I want to work on creative projects more often. I want to be more efficient with my time.

Today I did my laundry, changed sheets on the bed, sorted and threw away a lot of papers, wrote up a recipe to share at work, played Yoshi’s Island, Animal Crossing, and  Runefactory on 3DS , read dharma & listened to dharma talks, baked chocolate chip cookies, went to the store and library, wrote up my monthly budget, wrote part of a fanfiction chapter, cooked Boca burger for dinner and cooked Macaroni Con Queso for lunches this week.


Destiel Explosion

This is pretty pervy…rated mature, heavy slash. Fast paced video set to Generic Eric by she



I’m thinking of procrastination today and how I’m a master at it. Why can’t I be a master of discipline instead? That would involve “working” on my free time which does not compute in my head right now…why I am such a bad procrastinator.

So I think…I’ll do that later. Well, later never comes because it’s always NOW and right NOW I want to have fun…not do those boring chores that are always in my head for LATER. My brain is finally starting to understand later never comes so I better start doing some of those necessary chores now. And promise myself I WILL still have time for fun.

Okay I just admitted on the internet how super lazy I am. We’ll see if this goes anywhere.

Goodreads Darkforces series

The Ashton Horror (Dark Forces #12)The Ashton Horror by Laurie Bridges

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is one of my top favs of the Dark Forces books. I love the role-playing aspect of it, the characters, the quaint Vermont town, and the ancient evil. Very fun read!

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The Doll (Dark Forces #3)The Doll by Rex Sparger
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another one of my top favs for the Dark Forces books which were the greatest thing ever at the bookstore when I was 12-13. I loved the creepy doll, how it was acquired, the mounting evil and the helpful priest! Very fun read!

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The Game (Dark Forces #1)The Game by Les Logan

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I loved all these Dark Forces books when I was 12-13 and have re-read them several times, even as an adult! This is the one about the twin sisters and how one of them becomes victim to a demonic entity from a Ouija board.

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