Category Archives: Writing

Trying to taper down the indulgment


Got my mind on Buddhism a lot today and yesterday. I have a couple of decisions to make soon, and listening to dharma talks on youtube helped me decide I don’t necessarily need the things I was trying to decide to keep or give up. It’s also helping me with being a little less attached with what I do with my free time, so that I can do more responsible things too – get chores done, cook, do things for other people, not be so self absorbed.

I am facing not having a car soon, for a very long time, and I want to be mentally ready for that.

I also want to use that as an opportunity to spend less money, and pay my credit card down. If I don’t have a car, I won’t be spending money on gas, insurance, oil changes, or repairs. That’s a lot of money saved. I also want to try and taper down on things I feel I need all the time, like my iced teas. I’m going to try use the instant sometimes to save money. Right now I’m drinking my favorite, Oolong Peach from Safeway.

I want to experience life in a different frame of mind. Less attachment, less aversion, more peace, more contentment, no matter what is going on.  I want more inspiration, because I want to work on creative projects more often. I want to be more efficient with my time.

Today I did my laundry, changed sheets on the bed, sorted and threw away a lot of papers, wrote up a recipe to share at work, played Yoshi’s Island, Animal Crossing, and  Runefactory on 3DS , read dharma & listened to dharma talks, baked chocolate chip cookies, went to the store and library, wrote up my monthly budget, wrote part of a fanfiction chapter, cooked Boca burger for dinner and cooked Macaroni Con Queso for lunches this week.


Build A Lot, a lot

This is one of the new songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately, I bought the MP3 on amazon. Make this Go On Forever by Snow Patrol.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time playing a free trial game – time management and food, like a Burger Shop but it was harder because you had to make the sandwiches in a certain order. I can’t even remember the name. Has Stand in it.

I was reading some of both American Gods and The Passage yesterday, and The Passage started getting to a point where I didn’t understand what was going on anymore, but I’m going to give it another try.

Also last night while looking through the free trial stuff I saw Build A Lot Metropolis and I got so excited, then to find out it is a FB game, so hell yeah I started that game. It gets repetitive but I still love it for being a Build A Lot game. It’s also much simpler than the actual games, but still has a lot of the same gameplay. You have to wait a long time for your energy to come back.

Last night I realized I could download games I already bought on amazon to my other computer, so I did that and started playing Build A Lot 4 again on that comp. I only wish I could hear the sound 😦  But still, I paid for the game and they let me download to more than one comp, that’s great 🙂

Today I did write some on my original story with the Monoliths, but only a couple paragraphs. Also started reading Star Rigger’s Way by Jeffrey A. Carver (sci-fi) and In Dubious Battle by John Steinbeck. Reading both to see different kinds of writing styles. I hope to get back to my Monoliths story after I screw around a bit on Build A Lot on the laptop, I want to hear the sounds of the game.

Tomorrow I’m going to do more responsible stuff, apply to jobs, pay bills, I forgot what else. I did do a load of laundry today and change the bed.

I should go for a walk today, it’s nice enough out for shorts and I know this won’t last much longer. Our summer was way too short! It didn’t even start really till middle or end of July. A month and a half is not enough!

Reading, lots of reading

I just finished Jack Kilborn’s Trapped this morning, and it is a really gruesome, sick and twisted book. But that’s why I wanted to read it, Jack Kilborn comes up with some crazy stuff, just like he did in Endurance. I still haven’t finished his book Afraid, but I keep getting to the point where I’m not sure where the plot is going. I didn’t have that trouble with Endurance or Trapped.

I’m also reading The Passage by Justin Cronin and it’s good so far and I want to read more today. It’s fat and I can only have it for two weeks. But I decided I better work on American Gods by Neil Gaiman first, it’s due in a few days. It’s weird but interesting.  I’ve been trying to read more. Also trying to write more.

I ordered four books from amazon on writing and once I get them I’m really hoping they will help me write a full length novel. I had been trying to write on one, then my writing went flat and I wasn’t sure where I was going, so I tried writing on another story, just for practice. I don’t think anyone but me would like this one unless I changed it. I’m hoping to write something even if just a paragraph, every day.

I have so many books piled up to read it’s not funny. And I’m trying to pay attention to how the authors put words together, to inspire me to write better.

Been getting into new music as well. I thought of this video I liked once, looked it up and found out the singer was Skin. I listened to more of her songs on YT and really like this one called Trashed a lot. But it wasn’t available for sale on amazon as an mp3 so I ordered the CD with the song in it. At least I know for sure there is one more song I will like, but geez $10 is a lot to pay for a couple of songs, hope I like more songs on the CD.

Also been listening to Snow Patrol. Someone on Tumblr mentioned a song by them called Make this Last Forever (I think) and I tried it on YT and it’s really good. So I bought it and this other song called Lifeboats that I like a lot. Then I looked and the library had more than one CD of their music so I checked out two of them and have been listening to them while I clean.

Speaking of Tumblr, I started a new book recommendation blog and so far have only received 3 submissions. Really hoping to get more book recs! Almost all the ones I post are my own. If you want to leave comment here for a book rec, just leave title and author and I’ll list you as anon if you don’t have a tumblr.


Yesterday mammogram went well! Lots of squeezing of my boobs but they didn’t hurt afterwards. They also did ultrasounds on them, and told me what was in my right breast was most likely a fibroadenoma. They didn’t sound alarmed at all. That’s all I needed to hear! It’s harmless. I’m still getting a needle biopsy in August. The only thing that concerns me is what they found in the left breast, something way in the back, they said it could be a cyst but not sure so they are getting that checked with the needle biopsy too.

After my appointment yesterday I went to the rose garden and walked around, also went into the conservatory and looked at all the plants. Then I went to my favorite Thai restaurant on my way down the hill and ordered Pad Pak, my favorite meal from them. It’s SOOOO good. I took it home and started watching Six Feet Under while eating. I still have one more episode to watch before I can return the disc.

I really need to get some cleaning done today, and also hoping to write a little as well.

Last night J came home from shopping and showed me his new clothes he bought at thrift stores. He got some nice polo shirts and plaid shirts and a couple of t-shirts – I liked the one with the wings on it.

Monday post 2 – Goals

By Bahman Farzad at Flickr

Man I have so many things I want to get done and so little time. So here’s my goals for now. Not sure on a time frame, some I want to get done today, some this week, some before the summer is over LOL


  1. I want to pick up new library books and return ones I’m not going to finish.
  2. Clean up some of the clutter around here, like old junk mail.
  3. Email a friend back – MW
  4. Do some general cleaning.
  5. Make up a planned schedule and see if I can stick to it in the next days
This week:
  1. Finish Six Feet Under disc & write to Spencer again
  2. Send Joanna her postcard
  3. Do something creative like vidding or writing
  4. Read more, play video games and computer games less
  5. Write a review of Fast racing game
  6. Sorry I cannot figure out how to change the font back to normal on this list

New browser

The day before yesterday, I was really having trouble with Internet Explorer. It kept freezing up on me. Yesterday I tried to update it and the computer said I couldn’t, something was missing.

Not only had IE been freezing, it was having trouble scrolling and being really slow. So I decided to try Google Chrome and I like it a lot. Your new tab page can be customized to have a pretty background with apps that you pick out on it, and my favorites bar (which is called bookmarks) is taking the place of my old Yahoo Toolbar (GC couldn’t use Yahoo Toolbar) and it looks better actually. I’ll print screen sometime and post a pic. Anyway, Google Chrome works really fast, I like it.

Yesterday I spent to much time playing around, getting new apps, going to YB ( where I haven’t been to in forever,  to play Carniball, 3 Point Shootout, and Find It. Brings back memories LOL.

I also got a new thingy for using Twitter, called Twimbow, and you have to get an invite for that. I got an invite from a stranger that I added. I was also using Tweetdeck and just plain twitter to tweet yesterday. Twimbow is colorful looking and one advantage is you can have a search list on the right side, I typed in Supernatural, and that word gets a lot of tweets. I actually made two new friends yesterday doing that, commenting on their tweets. Well for sure I think one friend.

I have to get used to clicking on tabs at the top now, rather than clicking different windows on the bottom like I always did with IE.

Yesterday I tried Glee because I saw people were tweeting about the season finale. I couldn’t get into it, too much singing and the characters weren’t interesting to me, but I might give it another try because it has more than one gay couple on the show. This was on instant Netflix BTW.

Also tried Sherlock which suddenly showed up in Instant Netflix but it wasnt keeping my interest either. So I switched to Twin Peaks, but that show is just weird and sorta pointless now that they’ve solved Laura’s murder. I still watch every now and then because I like the characters.

Also watched the House Finale last night (I was at meditation class in Spokane Monday night). WOW they really went all out on the Season finale, as in big shock factor, not sure how they can even work next season after what happened!

On Monday I applied for one job that wasn’t FT, yesterday on FT job, I really hope I find more FT that I qualify for so I get my benefits from unemployment. I got a letter in the mail saying I will get a payment this week (I think)

Oh on Monday after meditation class, I went to Fred Meyer and got a new laptop cooler. It was interesting, I went to electronics, and the workers looked all over and said sorry, they didn’t think they had any more. Then I went over to the magazines and the woman chased after me with one, saying she found one! I was so happy! I had been debating in my head whether to bother with FM or not after class, and now I’m glad I went. I also got vitamins, because we no longer drink Boost (and I miss it sooo bad!)

I will probably take the car to the mechanic today and see what he says about it.

I need to look up jobs.

Last night I was starting a new, sad vid for SPN. I kept hearing this song in my MP3 player and seeing Castiel’s sad eyes at Dean’s. Also was editing first chapter of a fic I’m writing, I got it back from a beta and was making the corrections, but I am hesitant to get rid of a couple of sentences she crossed out. Might have to get a second opinion. Did I mention I was up till 2am doing that stuff? I think I need another cup of coffee.

Long due update

Gonna make a list of what I’ve been up to/doing, it’s been so long since I updated. I do have time off now, Wed & Thurs & Sunday. I had to work some last Wed though, so looking forward to this week getting two days off in a row!

I cleaned a bunch this Sunday. Like finished all the dishes, including drying and putting them away so there was room for more (yeah they had piled up) did three loads of laundry, and put the laundry away too. I was listening to my MP3 player while doing this stuff, makes cleaning more enjoyable.

Been listening to a lot of new music, been getting several CD’s at the library. Got a Thriller album 25th anivesary edition that has some updated versions of songs I like, like the PYT one is pretty catchy. Also finding new songs on YT. If I sit down and start putting stuff on my MP3 player, including a nice pic to go with the song (I get a lot of them from Deviant art) I can be sitting here for awhile.

Gotta work this morning, another really boring day at work. Bringing my book. Books, what am I reading right now?

  1. Left for Dead by Kevin O’Brien
  2. Master of the Game by Sydney Sheldon
  3. The Cellar by Richard Laymon
  4. Good Omens by Terry Prachett & another author

I heard about Good Omens from FS and it’s unusual but reading it because it has a demon named Crowley like on Supernatural 🙂 Aparently this book has a fan following.

I went to the store to get lunch stuff and I really should be making my sandwich for work soon. Also got some dinner stuff and three Pepsi’s they were 88 cents.

I recently finished the last chapter of OITO, was so glad I was able to write it, and I pretty much started from scratch didn’t like any of the previous drafts I had written.

I want to write more but I’m just not that great of a writer, compared to other fic writers. Suppose I should practice more.

I want a new computer so bad, Kevin said it would cost about $700, putting it off until I know I have more financial security, it really tempts me though often, get tempted to use credit card, but want to pay it DOWN and I was happy to see a lower minimum payment this month (paid more than it though). When I hear SEVERAL songs on my MP3 player, I want to make videos! The Corel program I bought myself is good, it’s just not working well on the laptop or the old desktop. Needs a better video board and more ram, and Kevin said I can’t just put a better video board on the desktop it won’t hold itor something.

I’m saving one of my Clay Aiken CD’s and the comp is being really slow doing it, usually it isn’t, IDK what is up.

Last week was so darn snowy and now it’s much better, roads clear again and slightly warmer out.

I’m planning on organizing a lot of folders on the old comp, so when I finally have my new comp, I’ll have them saved to a disc and can put them right on the new comp. Last night I was working on it while playing Etrian Odyssey, and deleted a bunch of stuff I didn’t need.

I beat the last boss on Etrian Odyssey III and was not happy to learn I can’t level up my players after 70. I thought I could go to 99. The 6th bonus stratum is pretty cool, ugly and creepy like a thick forest with tentacles and moving branches. It’s also very challenging (the map).

Thinking of ordering Rune Factory 3 soon and maybe even a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game.


Yeah I forgot to mention that I bought four 12-packs of Cottenelle Aloe & E toilet paper online from because you can no longer find it at any store. Not even at Kmart. And I paid probably $2 more a pack than I would have for Cottenelle’s plus brand at the store, but I missed my softest toilet paper. Even the ultra wasn’t quite as soft.  And we had Northern in the bathroom the day the Aloe & E showed up, and J was wondering why I bought so much of the toilet paper when it was sharp. LOL so apparently other brands are like knives. But I said noooo I bought much softer TP.

I also bought two bagfuls of Willy Wonka candy in my order, which include the elusive Bottle Caps!


Man I’m tired. I want a day off. Not going to get one. Oh did I mention I found out we suddenly have to work till 10pm now the 2nd week of Feb? I thought 9pm was bad enough. I’ll be missing Supernatural if I work till 10pm. Will ask if I can keep from working late at least that night.

I wanted to write chapter 4 of my OITO fic this morning, but I’m just being lazy hanging out at LJ, FB & Deviant Art. I should try to write something now.

I’m still not calling Sallie Mae. Not looking forward to it. Probably will force myself tomorrow morning when I am in the middle of paying rent & credit card (it’s payday) I did pay two bills today, got them ready to stick in the mail. I really should stop using Credo for long distance. It’s costing me $15 a month now when it used to be more like $8 and I barely make long distance calls. I might call Centurylink (who has my reg phone and internet) to see how much long distance would jack up the bill. If it’s less than $15 it’s worth it,  and will save me a stamp as well.

Friday isn’t here soon enough, I keep thinking THIS is Friday, I want to see the new Supernatural!

Joined Deviant Art

I joined Deviant art today so I can fav several Dean/Castiel art pics, there are several good ones there. Using the same name there as here, but if you’re not into Dean/Castiel I wouldn’t look at my favorites list as there is lots of huggy goodness. LOL.

I still can’t believe I don’t get a day off this week – or next week, or next week! Not sure about the following week. I’m afraid to look. Work was really busy yesterday, and today I have to stay till 9pm, well every day I go in I have to stay till 9pm now, the time I show up varies. Today I go in at 3:30pm a little early to take care of some stuff before I have appts. It is going to be WEIRD staying till 9pm! I miss the days when we closed at 7pm (last year) lately we’ve been open till 8pm except weekends, starting next weekend though I think it’s till 9pm.

I’m uploading some of my old art to Deviant art now. Like my drawing of Janeway, watercolor of Bart Simpson, a Tara buddha pic, maybe more.

Hmm what have I been up to? Well, been writing on a new fic, OITO, played some Mario Kart Wii online last night, I wrote back to several ppl this morning that I owed an email to, still need to write to mom.  Even wrote on my gen fic Bobby’s house, but haven’t posted that chapter yet.

Remembered to mail J’s medical application. For renewal of free health insurance. Finally finished my disc of Six Feet Under, also got to see Ghost Hunters recently. Going to try Castle next on Netflix.

Almost done with The Mirror and The Mask by Ellen Hart. Will work on Final Breath by Kevin O’Brien  next, then Castaways by Brian Keene. I have to stop checking out library books for awhile after these, because of not using my car. But I have several books I owned saved up for reading, including Master of the Game, Blasphemy, Boy’s Life, Fatal Cure, and more.

I did some cleaning on Saturday. I am sitting here wondering what I will bring myself to eat to work night after night. I have no clue.


I leave for work at 1:10pm. Don’t have to be there till quarter till  3pm, but that’s the way the bus schedule goes. Either leave early or show up too late. On Wed I ate at Taco time for lunch to kill some time, not in the mood for that today, so I haven’t made up my mind what I will do to kill time – maybe just read at the plaza. Or go for a walk in the skywalks.

I’m really glad it’s Friday, will have 2 days in a row where I don’t have to think about going anywhere if I don’t want to. Oh and Wed was super busy at work, I thought that would make the time go faster, but actually I served so many ppl it made the day feel longer. But it is good that I was able to help most of the ppl.

I’ve been reading Sweet Poison and am almost done, started reading A Gathering of Crows by Brian Keene and it’s good, will take that one on the bus, (have been), and have been reading a story on Fictionpress by someone with a long user name but one of his stories is called Damnation, Texas, about a western town that has supernatural things going on. I don’t usually like westerns but I like the guy’s writing and characters, and the plot is interesting for each story, except for the one with the lizard man, I had trouble following it. I started another story of his this morning, Yonder City, and wrote down where I left off (his chapters are too long for me to read at once.)

Which makes me wish I was writing something. I haven’t been in a writing mood for a couple of weeks. And I start things that I don’t finish. Really wish I could learn to stay focused on a few things rather than spreading myself too thin. Also when I do try to write (lately), my prose is terrible. Not sure how to improve it.

Sean came over yesterday after an acting job here in town, which was a nice surprise. He wanted to watch the newest Star Trek movie after telling us about the job. I made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, J had Amy over as well. Long time since I fixed something for 4 ppl. I forgot to give Sean the Christmas ornaments I said he could borrow. Oh and his car needed a jump before he could leave, good thing my car battery was on the left and his on the right, because my jump cables are short.

I got bored with the news last night. So tired of hearing that the rich are going to continue to get their tax cuts. Ugh. Seems like the news is the same every night. I turned it off and did something else, but can’t remember what it was.

Oh, yesterday before Sean came over, I was making a playlist on Youtube of Christmas songs, and I found this song which I absolutely love – it’s a remake of Last Christmas, which is already my fav Christmas song.

Which was making me wish I had an MP3 player so I could listen to it and a few other songs while waiting for the bus, but they are too expensive, even the small ones, for me to bother with right now.

Yesterday I tried watching Friday the 13th the original movie, but it was too stupid. I think I gave up a half hour in. I should have been watching Six Feet under, I still need to watch one more episode.

UPDATE: I just watched Six Feet Under and put it in the mail. About to get dressed for work. I forgot to mention J has been playing Mario Kart Wii more often now, beating my ghosts, wanting me to try beat his ghost, and then races mine again to beat my time, it’s been fun.

Just having coffee and a PBJ sandwich for lunch. I hope I don’t get too hungry later, but nothing really sounded good. And the coffee, I’ve been feeling tired. It’s that time of the month and it’s sapping my energy.

Thinking maybe if I write 3 more chapters of a certain story, and have an outline ready for the future plot, I can post this one story of mine to FP. I don’t want to post it and then never finish it like everything else I post.